“LEAP, AND THE NET WILL APPEAR”: PURSUING MY INTUITION
“I guess that’s why I’m so unsure about tomorrow; who will I be or what I want to commit to, because I can never decide. Being abroad forces me to face my fears and be honest with myself. As I’m traveling and experiencing new life, I’ve constantly inquired myself: What am I committed to? The question of what drives me each day is a cold mystery; a mystery that no detective could uncover or a Scooby Doo episode could unravel, only me.”
Those words were written 6 years ago while studying abroad in Leuven, Belgium, long before I became the visual artist writing this blog post. It is truly a surreal experience to reread excerpts of my inner thoughts during such a pivotal moment in my life. Now that I am Raph Draws and stand firmly in who I am in this magnetizing black, femme visual artist & human, I can’t help but look back in awe. Even though I was so unsure about who I was and what I wanted to do with my life, I am a masterpiece in progress.
I decided to pursue my passion for art when I first moved to Vermont in September 2020. At the time, I was working as a Community Organizer for the DREAM Program and served first-generation and new-American youth within the low income communities in Burlington, VT. Off the clock, I was teaching myself how to digital draw from my iPhone 7 Plus and had a deep desire to explore bringing my digital art to life. One day, A former DREAM mentee of mine asked me for a ride to the Generator Markerspace for a STEM mentor/mentee program being offered there. I agreed, as it was apart of my job duties as an Organizer. Little did I know I’d be quantum leaping into a new reality: being an artist. Once I witnessed the magic of the Makerspace, I felt nudged by the Universe to pursue art. Following the experience, I saved up the small checks I received from my AmeriCorps position to buy an iPad 12 Pro and the rest is herstory. In short, I pursued my intuition.
“I don’t know what moves me,” I wrote. “I am a woman of many talents and aspirations that soar beyond the status quo but what sets my soul ablaze every given day?”
To be frank, we don’t ask ourselves this question often. Knowing thyself becomes more and more of a mystery as life picks up the rapid pace of routine. It is within this mystery of life where we are given the option to seek our purpose. And it is through seeking our purpose where we find our truth – the mystery behind our being and why we are here. It’s a “the-call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house” type of vibe.
The spiraling nature of “doing the work” is so intimidating. The excitement and anxiousness simultaneously intertwine in your consciousness as you attempt to figure out what your journey asks of you. It’s challenging, but tangible. We must give ourselves the credit we deserve, for it is beautiful to seek our truest version of self through our life experiences, the people we cross paths with, and the spaces we stumble upon.
Fast forward 6 years later and I have found what I want to be committed to: me.
Funny how life opens up when you relinquish control of your path.
Through my quest-for-self, I found what sets my soul ablaze is creating visual pieces that share a deeper message of liberation, rooted in the divine feminine, the Black Madonna & Child. All I had to do was answer the calling to return home and along the way, encourage other souls to do the same and leave behind what does not serve me.
“I feel my character, my energy, and my talents can take me far in life; as should you.” 20-year-old raph wrote. “You have so much to offer in your community and to the world even. It’s all about the commitment, ownership, and knowing of thyself. ”
Seek and you will find.
Until next time,
~R